When I started medical school, I thought I’d have to choose between becoming a doctor and becoming a mom. It felt like there was no space for both (at least not until after training). I now know that it is not true, but learning that came through some of the most intense, exhausting, and meaningful seasons of my life.
I had my daughter between first and second year of medical school. I studied for exams while nursing, sat through online lectures with a sick baby in my lap, and learned to manage time better than ever thought I could. When I started clerkship, she was 18 months old – an active toddler who reminded me every day that the most important parts of life happen outside the hospital walls.
I was pregnant with my son during my final year of clerkship. I was interviewing for residency, navigating CARMS, and finishing rotations while pregnant. I delivered him two weeks after graduation. After taking eight months of maternity leave, I started residency off cycle determined to be the best version of myself, both as a mom and new resident. Each day felt like an identity shift as I learned to carry the weight of motherhood alongside the responsibility of medicine.
It hasn’t been easy. Most days feel like a dance between two worlds. As all of you know, residency demands your time, energy, and focus but so does parenting. And yet, I’ve found that both roles strengthen each other. Being a mom has made me more compassionate, more efficient, and more grounded in my “why”. Being a doctor has made me more confident, better at managing chaos (both at work and through tantrums), and more deeply connected to the families I care for.
Still, on those whirlwind days of day care drop off, rushing to work, pumping at lunch, and sprinting to pick-up, I sometimes wonder if I’m doing enough in either role. I’ve learning to celebrate the small wins: making it home in time for bedtime stories, finishing my charting before the end of the workday, or getting a bit of sleep on call so I can spend my post-call day with my family.
I’ve realized that “balance” is often a myth. But boundaries, support systems, and self-compassion are essential. At least once a month, we carve out a family day in the mountains with no routine, no chores, no studying. Just time together. These are the moments that recharge me and remind me why I am doing all of this. And while I now attend more birthday parties and children’s activities than I ever imagined, I’m living the two roles I always dreamed of and wouldn’t have it any other way.
To the other parents (or soon to be parents) in training: you are not alone. You deserve the support, flexibility, and the freedom to build the life you want, both in and outside of medicine. If you’re in the thick of it – wiping noses one minute and suturing the next – I see you. And I am cheering you on.
Be the first to leave a comment!